st_jane_ambulance: (nine)
[personal profile] st_jane_ambulance
So I went and saw 2012 last night (best audience ever, by the way, even though there were only half a dozen of us). While it was quite intense at times, and John Cusack and Chiwetel Ejiofor both looked mighty fine throughout, I wasn't that impressed by the movie overall. Why? Because it was trying too damn hard.

1. You know how similar-genre movies will compete with each other, or how sequels (especially these days) try their damndest to top the one that came before, usually just going overboard and failing completely? It was kind of like that. No, it was exactly like that. The movie was trying to top itself several times. I kept thinking "didn't we already see this, only smaller?" Little plane/big plane, limo/RV, flee, flee ,flee. Between that and as long as some scenes went on, it could have been about an hour shorter. I'm all for long movies, but pacing is important, guys.

2. Hollywood science LIKE WHOA. But this kind of thing amuses more than enrages me. This time it just seemed more noticeable for me than usual (and by "noticeable" I mean "bullshit"). Neutrinos making the planet boil? From what little I know about the things I don't think they work that way, but I can suspend a lot of disbelief to get my entertainments. If you say they do that for the purpose of this setting, I'm okay with that.

For the Yellowstone eruption, though, I'm pretty damn sure it was actually understated. Hell, that event alone is theoretically enough to wipe out life as we know it, what with all the ash in the atmosphere (which seemed to disappear awfully fast). John Cusack, awesome though he may be, outrunning the explosion in an RV is... highly unlikely. There is a good reason they call it a supervolcano. If what the National Geographic channel told me was right, an explosion from that particular supervolcano would take out a significant chunk of the STATE.

I'm pretty sure I read a lick about this continental displacement thing not too long ago... under the bogus science category. :/ But it's not like I haven't wanted to use old bogus science for the purpose of storytelling. :)

3. John Cusack's character, early on, struck me as a HUGELY irresponsible father. Okay, so you're hiking with your kids in Yellowstone and you come across a fence that has WARNING: DO NOT ENTER signs posted all over it. Do you a) move along because it might be there for a good reason and you place your children's safety above your curiosity or b) make an excuse to hop on over and check it out?

B. No, really. But it gets better.

They come across the site where a lake used to be. The whole thing looks like it's been boiled off in a big damn hurry, complete with bubbling and half a nasty moose carcass and instead of being along the lines of oh, say, "This might be an unstable area since we're on top of a hotspot and all, we should probably leave" instead of all "Duuuuh, where'd the lake go?"

And then, of course, leaving his (not even teenage) kids alone in the tent while he goes to drink beer and chat with crazy Woody Harrelson. Gee, I wonder why he didn't get custody.

4. The whole "death/dismemberment by grinding gears" thing? SO not something I want to see. Ever. I scrunched down and squeezed my eyes shut through quite a bit of those scenes (which went on for freaking ever). Even though I think they're pretty cool and fascinating, I'm terrfied of hydraulics. Or any machinery that can mangle somebody to death. Or hell, mangle somebody period. I'm afraid of sink garbage disposals, for chrissakes. This is thanks in part to the fact that I have this *THING* about dismemberment and being crushed to death, ESPECIALLY when gears and shit are involved. And I know that that one guy had to die for the other two to get back together and all (because keeping him alive and having the same happen would be BAD, for some reason), but did he have to die SO horribly? He wasn't that bad.

Okay. Now for stuff I did like.

The cast.
- I absolutely adore John Cusack to death, and I love the way he plays his characters. Not to mention he's looking as hot as ever. 8D
- I can barely pronounce Chiwetel Ejiofor's name, which is a shame because I really like him. I may have to just keep calling him "The Operative". Also quite gorgeous himself.
- Oliver Platt, even though he was playing a douche.
- Everybody I recognized from the Vancouver acting pool. Seriously, I knew where the movie had been filmed within twenty minutes because I watch way too much sci fi.

The Arks. I mean it, those were pretty cool. Also, the theory of them being spaceships never made sense to me at all. It would have been terribly impractical: they would have to carry an unbelievable amount of supplies, the technology might be slightly beyond us (not that it would matter for a Hollywood movie, but it bears mentioning), and where the hell would they go anyway? The nearest star is three or four years away at light speed. But yeah. The ships were pretty damn awesome.

The effects were pretty wicked. It did look like the whole world was literally falling apart. (But it still isn't a replacement for a storyline.) Unfortunately, I think Roland Emmerich has seriously declined as a filmmaker. (Not that he was ever Alfred Hitchcock or anything, but still. It made Stargate and Independence Day look like Platoon.) It seems to sadly be the trend these days that directors who once made bad but fun movies are now just making really bad ones.

All told, I had some fun and I left the movie in a pretty good mood. I didn't enjoy it as much as I'd hoped though, and I'm not sure when the last time was I did seriously enjoy a movie in the theater... and if it was as long ago as Star Trek, I'll be depressed. :/

[damn, that was long.]

Profile

st_jane_ambulance: (Default)
st_jane_ambulance

March 2013

S M T W T F S
      12
34 56789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31      
Page generated Jul. 4th, 2025 08:22 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Tales of Interest

Doctor Who
ElfQuest
Farscape
Legend of the Seeker
The Lord of the Rings
ReBoot
Sanctuary
Stargate SG-1
Stargate Atlantis
Star Trek
Star Wars
Supernatural
Tin Man

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit