It is sporking time.

[st_jane_ambulance]

I'm bored, snarky, and entering the silly phase of not having had enough sleep last night. So I felt it was time for some quirky summaries.

 

Stargate Atlantis

Obviously this is an AU. To summarize, they're already in their late twenties coping with changing relationships and solving past issues. Ronon/Keller, John/Teyla, Rodney/Vega, Lorne/cadman & Mike/Elizabeth.
Somebody didn't watch the deleted scenes that showed Vega was a lesbian. Or, you know, the show.

Will things go awry when secrets are revealed? And will Sheppard pay the price?
Well, that depends on the secret. If it's something like Sheppard covertly watching American Idol, expect things to blow over.

How do you heal when life knocks you down? Ronon/OC non ship. Since they lost everything life was about surviving but it was time to start living again. sorry bad summery, enjoy
Again, this depends. If life just pushed him over, recovery will probably be short. If life knocked him over with, say, a bus, it'll be traction and band-aids like usual.

Discovering he has a half sister prompts Sheppard to bring her to Atlantis.
Because ANYONE would just take a family member they just met to a top-secret government project in another galaxy. Anyone who says otherwise is a communist.

Declan is what you call a Furling, a race of beings that have a human composition, but are basically pure energy. When he returns to Atlantis via Lt. Col. John Shepard's team, the world and lives there are about to get a lot more interesting… SLASH
I... don't even know where to begin.

For the day of judgment will be the end of this time and the beginning of immortal time to come. Discontinued!
Sure, the brochure promises eternal life, and then you get to the place and find out it's closed 'cause someone caught salmonella from the flume ride. And that it's in New Jersey.

Sheppard's younger sister is a fire cracker that he was never able to control. Can the team on Atlantis do any better.
Dump her in bucket of water, that's what I do with my bratty Mary-Sue firecrackers.

Stargate SG-1

AU The team is captured after following Jack/Kanan back to Ba'al's Planet. Disregard the rest of season five.
I would, except that it happened in season six.

Tami O'Neil is Jack O'Neil's daughter... She's also a Tok'ra.
Tami the Tok'ra, as featured in the Children's Picture Book of Interstellar Underground Resistance Movements.

Daniel is separated from his team and finds something through the Stargate that he could never have imagined-another reason to survive until his team can find him.
He needs a reason other than not being dead?

After returning from PYX364 Major Samantha Carter receives some shocking news concerning Jack and Jonas.
They've eloped? Finally!

Old Friends Return in Shocking Story Plot
I suppose it's a step above Mary Sues and high school AUs...

This is a fic where our favorite sg-1 characters are exposed to an entity that turns them into ten year olds. it sounds alot more interesting when you actually read the fic. try it out! ;
It couldn't possibly sound less interesting.

What if Sam and Jack grew up next door to each other?
Was he her babysitter?

NCIS

When a little girl shows up at NCIS calling Gibbs Daddy you know things are gonna get strange. When the same girl starts calling Jenny Mommy, you've really got something interesting on your hands.
I think the word you're looking for is hackneyed.

A grizzly case at NCIS sees the return of an old team member.
Did bears raid a shipyard or something?

The NCIS building is blown up, Then a series of crimes after, Tony is affected by the hernias crimes...
Dude, hernias are nasty, but I don't think you can send them to jail.

She had heard the scream come from somewhere. Where was the question?
I don't know, you had it last!

A single sheet of paper will bring about the end of an era and a new beginning.
It's the last sheet of TP in the world.

Starsky & Hutch

The sight of Hutch's car sends Starsky into a panic.
Well, it is kinda dirty.

This is an AU. Starsky is a merman.
I thought I remembered him having legs. (Nice bouncy ones in tight jeans.)

The heat of the desert gets Starsky thinking.
"What the hell am I doing in the desert?"

Starsky shows his driving skills.
If you know what I mean.'

Doctor Who

The Doctor finds a way back to Rose, but is he too late to save her?

Bad wolf had changed her. Rose was more like him than he knew. But when she was taken from him will he be able to find her again? Will Martha be able to over come her Jealousy to see the Doctors heart is already someone elses?

What if Rose hadn't disappeared into the parallel world? What if the Doctor realised he loved her? Rose is safe for now, but there are other threats coming. How far will the Doctor go to ensure her safety? More importantly how will Rose react?

A series of drabbles of Rose's newest time traveling adventures with the 11th Doctor and Amy.

A Rose's pain, a Doctor's sadness, a Captain's love. Rose's journey back to her Universe and her Doctor.

The Doctor finally trusts someone enough to tell them all about Rose. Amy. Touched by his story, the redhead takes it upon herself to reunite the lost lovers, even if it does mean crossing universes, and reopening the cracks...

A story that may just reunite a pair that belong together, but he has to find her first of course. Did I mention that the dreamlord won't let her go?

Rose fangirls: BISMILLAH NO! WE WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
Rest of fans: Let her go!
Rose fangirls: WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
Rest of fans: Let her go!
Rose fangirls: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

Mama mia.